RACE MORNING
I woke up at 4:45am to have breakfast (oatmeal with milk and
raisins, banana, gatorade) and left the house at 5:15. The car ride was
pretty calm for me. I was quiet and not
really thinking of much of anything.
Priscilla and Sally in the back seat were hyper as can be. Mike dropped us off as close as we could get
then parked the car. I dropped off special needs bags and pumped tires on
my bike. Sally came and found me as I was getting body marked and we
hugged. We found the rest of the IMAZ group,
then the cheer squad and stood around waiting for the wetsuit dance. Taking group photos I felt calm and quiet.
I never once though I was about to do an ironman. The morning felt
like the start of any other race. Maybe that was my secret. Not
ever thinking about doing all 140.6 miles. More cheerleaders showed up in
tears, more pictures and we start moving through the cattle corral.
SWIM
Sally and I approached the swim entrance and I was about to
sit down and slide in when she counted to three and said jump, so I did. There
I go, not thinking again. The water didn't
feel nearly as cold as on Saturday. We slowly moved toward the start line
about 200 yards ahead. I kept in mind that there were still a lot of
people getting in the water and if we moved too far forward, we would get stuck
in the washing machine. As we looked up to one of the bridges, the cheer
squad with their green wigs and wooden dowels with green pom poms on the end were
easy to spot. We yelled up at them. As they were frantically
waving, I saw Coach Alexis pop over the top. Then Coach Ryan looked over
at us. Finally Coach Ed's face was staring down at us too. Sally
and I were in disbelief. We had no idea they were coming and that was the
best race present ever. We were both laughing and crying. It was a
surreal moment. We did our best to hug in the water with Johanna. I start thinking: Man,
I’ve got to stop crying. Salt tears in
my goggles will hurt later. Turn around
so they can’t see you. Wow, this is
fantastic. How many emotions are going
through me right now? Happy? Nervous?
Cold? Scared? Excited? Yes, yes, yes.
The cannon fired, and we were off. This may have been
one of the most calm swims I've ever had. I got bumped a few times, but
nothing like the washing machine people have described. About midway
down, I looked over and Sally is swimming right next to me. We stopped,
stared at each other for a second, high fived, then kept on swimming. It
was a single loop swim to the next bridge.
I severely underestimated how far past the bridge I had to go before the
turnaround. I debated on looking at my
watch or hitting the lap button but decided that I couldn't do much about it
then, so no need to stress. Finally the bridge, wow. Ok, just keep swimming.
As soon as I made the turn, I started to get cold.
Enough that I wished I was wearing something warmer. Geez, thanks Es for making me think about my
bare arms. I tried to focus on my
stroke and keep my calves from cramping.
Keep focusing on your swim. Don’t think about the bike right now. Stroke.
Remember what Steve told you.
Don’t cross the centerline. Keep
your elbows up. Keep your head tilted
down to breathe. I kept going all the
way back to the dock, and felt fine. I
crawled out of the water and was going to skip the wetsuit strippers, but
suddenly they were in front of me, taking off my clothes. I sat down and
they pulled off the wetsuit. They stood there for a second waiting for me
to stand up, but I made them pull me back up since I was kind of tired.
T1
I grabbed my transition bag and headed for the change tent.
It was a nightmare inside. This
is disgusting. One lady was standing
in the doorway literally brushing her hair. Fruit loop. Heaters were
running, but with all the wet bodies, it was more like a steam room. I
looped around once and found a seat. I looked up and saw Sally come in to
change. We screamed something at each other, though now, I'm not sure
what it was. A volunteer helped me get changed and put on my arm warmers.
I put a bunch of stuff back in my bag and just now am realizing that I
just left it there. It's what I was supposed to do, but wow, I really spaced
out there. Running through all the bike racks, a volunteer grabbed my
bike and I was off.
BIKE
Three loops of 37ish miles with lots of wind. The
first 8 or so miles were ok and focusing on my heart rate. I knew if I blew it then, I would be toast
for the rest of the day. Zone two, zone two, zone two. Remember the 120 where you blew it going too
hard. You have to stay clam and in zone two right now. As I made it up Beeline toward the
turnaround, the incline really began.
It’s a little more than a false flat and picks up even more at the Arizona canal and then
again at the turn. It didn't occur to me
that it would be so hard heading up the last few miles and the steepest part of
the loop. I made it up without worrying about my time figuring I'd make
up for it on the super fast downhill. At some point in there Sally passed
me and I was really surprised. I was happy for her having such a good
race, but really shocked since I had ridden so strongly through all of our
practice rides. I'm not sure how I managed to do it, but I don’t remember
thinking negatively. I guess all of my
mental meltdowns during the practice rides paid off. I didn't make a conscience decision to think
positive, I just forced anything non-productive out of my head. Tracey,
just keep going. Ok, there’s the turn,
oooh, a giant M&M statue. Oooh,
there must be M&Ms here. What?! No M&Ms.
Seriously, you’ve got to be kidding me.
Why put up a giant M&M statue and not give them out? False advertising!
The way down was fantastic to go fast. I saw the
coaches cheering about 8 miles out and then the rest of the cheer squad further
into town. I made the turn and went back up. Loop
two was decidedly easier on the way out. I thought for sure my legs had
just warmed up and finally I was going as I planned. Whooo hooo, way to go! Keep
those legs spinning and see what you can do.
This little hill will be yours!
Take it! I turned at the top
of the hill and realized that I was fast because of the tailwind. The
wind had picked up and getting back down was like being on an incline. Ahh, crap.
Ok, I guess I had to pay for the speed on the way up. I somehow maintained my positivity. Loop two in
the bag and now just one more to go.
I headed back up with the tailwind
again being thankful for the extra speed. On the way back down, I passed
the coaches again and Alexis told me I had it, no worries about the cutoff, I
would make it with plenty of time. Uh,
what do you mean I have plenty of time?
Of course I do. I planned on finishing
at 4:30. Why would you be telling me I
have plenty of time? Maybe because I’m
close to the cutoff? Oh NO! Now, here I am thinking I've just flown
through this course with plenty of time to have a 15 minute transition leaving
me with 7 hours for the marathon since I was walking the whole thing. For the first time, I look at the clock time
and see that I am way behind schedule. I've made timing charts for the
run with my planned times, worst case scenario times, and worse than worst case
scenario, absolutely must-do times. I knew that if I started the run at
5:45 I would have to keep a 14:18 pace to finish before midnight. I've
never kept that quick a pace, even during a 5k. Well crap. Guess I better pedal pretty hard right now. I busted as hard as I could for the
last 8 or so miles to give myself whatever cushion I could on the run. I’ll be walking soon, so there’s plenty of
time to recover from this zone 4. Just
push harder! A 30 minute zone 4
effort later and I’m back to transition.
T2
I dismount, pass off my bike, and grab my bag. Robin
is waiting outside the change tent and I realize I am hyperventilating. I. Can. Not. Breathe. There’s Sally behind me. What is she doing? I scream something reminiscent of Rocky
shouting Adrienne to Sally. The volunteer helps me change, I load up my
pockets with nutrition for the next couple of hours and head off. Partway
through transition I realize I still had on my sunglasses and turned back and
threw them at a volunteer asking if she would put them in my bag. She
graciously said yes, and out I went still having trouble breathing.
RUN
Whew, still can't
breathe. I feel like I can only take really shallow breaths.
Es Letsche passes me and asked if I was going to hike Kili again with all the
crap I had in my jersey. I told her I would be out there for seven hours
and that's a long time needing a lot of food. She also told me the loop
took forever. Actually, I’m pretty sure she said “fucking forever”. I saw the signs on the run course that the
cheer squad put up and it kept my mind off my breathing. Sally passes me
within the first two miles and I still have no idea how she was behind me.
I saw the sign with all of the pictures of our dogs, didn’t even
recognize my own, but did recognize Sally's. I shouted ahead to her
something about Boudreaux her dog. I crossed the first bridge and see a
sign that says something like if you haven't crapped your pants, you're already
a winner. Well, good job me. No crap=winning. I grabbed some
water from the aid station and kept making my pace. I turned the alerts
off my Garmin and jut hit the lap on my watch at every mile. I didn't
want to see the clock time since I was going as fast as I could and no clock
would make me faster.
As I came toward the cheer squad at the end of the first
loop, Mike comes running up to me. I still don't have my breathing under control
and am convinced that I need an inhaler. I tell him as much and he asks
me where mine is. It's at the house. (I got an inhaler two winters
ago when my lungs hurt while running in the cold. I used it only
occasionally and never in the year of IM training.) I told him to ask around,
ask Priscilla, ask Johanna, someone, anyone, get me something so I can breathe.
Mike sprints off with the fear that I will collapse at any moment.
Starting loop two and I finally see the sign with our
Triathletes Hiking Kilimanjaro logo on it. I chuckle again at the winning
sign. I have no desire to eat anything, so I just take water at the aid
stations and some coke occasionally. It's dark now on the loop so I pull
out my headlamp to see where I'm going. I see the coaches at one of the
super dark stretches on the back of the loop. Ed yells at me to turn off
the headlamp or I will ruin my photo. I yell back that I'm doing a
fucking marathon right now. He hugs me and I struggle away knowing that
I'm on a tight time crunch. After the next aid station, my stomach is not
happy. I want to vomit, but there’s really nothing in my stomach. I
stop on the side of the road in a dark patch and try to make myself throw up
hoping I would feel better. No luck. I just stick with sipping
water and coke and sucking on ice. My fastest half marathon time was
around 3:30 while running. My fastest half marathon while walking was
3:37ish. I finally look at the clock time when I get to mile 13, and do
the math. I have to do a half marathon
faster than I ever have before. Eh,
all right, then, let’s go, let’s hope for a miracle, you never know what’s
going to happen. Something gets into me and I feel like I’m flying.
Nothing really hurts and my legs are moving. As I pass the 14 mile
marker, I think I’m in uncharted territory. I’ve never run more than 14 miles. Let’s see what happens now.
I get to the straightaway by the cheer squad and Mike comes running
out of the dark with an inhaler. By now I’m totally fine and have
convinced myself it was just nerves. (Turns out he tracked down a phone
number for Johanna, runs to the car, drives to her hotel, gets the inhaler,
drives back to the course, parks the car, sprints out onto the course to find
me. What a guy!) He walks with me for a bit and I tell him I’ll be
ok on my own. I apologize as much as I can and keep going.
As the third loop begins my stomach is now starting to
gurgle. TMI warning: I’ve been burping and farting my way through
the whole marathon. I stopped for the bathroom twice and just peed.
I fully expected there to be more, but nope. I see the winning sign
again and think I better hit the bathroom again or I may not even be winning
when I cross the line. But if you
stop now, you’re wasting time and you just don’t have much to spare. Gah! What do I do? Sure enough, glad I did. I feel a
little better. I’m still sucking on ice and sipping coke. (I
remember hearing a podcast about a fitness test on some bikers who were given a
real-sugar sports drink. They could slosh it in their mouths but they had
to spit it out. Another group was given a fake-sugar drink to slosh.
The real-sugar bikers were able to perform longer because their tongues
sent their bodies a message that more energy was on the way before it even hit
their stomachs. The fake-sugar riders didn’t perform as well because
their bodies weren’t fooled by simply the sweet taste.) As my stomach is
rebelling more, I simply slosh coke around in my mouth and spit it out
convinced that my body will keep moving since it now thinks fuel is on the way.
In the late teens and early 20s of the race I start to think
of that runner’s high that people get. As I ticked off the miles, I kept
thinking, hmmm, there’s supposed to be a
runners high somewhere in here. Where is it? People were also
saying you’re almost there. Usually that’s a terrible thing to hear when
you have more than six miles to go which translates to an hour and half more
running. Yep, I AM almost there.
Only six more miles. I’ve already gone 134 miles today. Six
more is nothing. Oh, hey, something
feels funny on your toe. Nothing you can
do about it now. Just keep moving.
I see Ed, Ryan and Alexis on the same dark stretch again.
They are pretty loud about me going faster. Alexis comes up to pace
me. I put my finger up in his face and very forcefully tell him that he
can run with me but he has to be quiet. He agrees and bounds ahead.
Ryan asks me if I want to be an Ironman today. I say yes.
Alexis looks at me again and very meekly asks if I want to be an Ironman.
I say yes again and he tells me we have to move. Slowly we pick off
another mile. Alexis again looks as me and very quietly asks me if I want
him to pace me. I snap back “yes, 15 minute miles, now shut it!” I
realize that I have to give Alexis something to do or he will burst. I swear if he could put his feet in my shoes
and move them for me he would have. I
start asking for stuff as we approach an aid station. He runs ahead shouting to the volunteers
COKE, WE NEED COKE. WATER? WHO HAS ICE?!
This amuses me more than you know.
Ed and Ryan pop up again and start yelling at me. They
convince me to run down this little hill. Alexis goes nuts when I pass
someone, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking that she isn’t going to
finish. I try to encourage her and tell her to come with me. But
she doesn’t keep up. (Turns out she crossed at 17:02.
Heartbreaking.) Alexis keeps trying to get me to run, but my walk
pace is nearly the same my run pace so I keep asking Alexis if it’s any faster.
It’s not.
We come to the last bridge crossing about 3 miles from the
finish. I haven’t looked at the time at all. I see Mike come out of
the darkness to walk with me. Then a few minutes later, Nicolas comes out
of the dark. As we turn onto the last path to the finish, Ed is suddenly
with me. I’m not really talking to anyone, I just keep looking forward.
They all convince me that I have to run. I still don’t know the
time. Ed starts complaining that he hasn’t run this far in forever and
that his feet hurt in his hiking boots. Really?! You’re going to
complain to me right now? Seriously? Shut the F up! And my toes hurt! He’s snapping pictures behind me.
Mike and Nicolas are ahead of me. Alexis is at my side, still
pushing me in my run shuffle. I start handing off all the crap in my
pockets and my race belt since it keeps bouncing up and down.
At some point Ryan shows up again (he had taken off ahead to
see Sally to the finish line). So now, I’m slogging along as fast as I
can go with this entourage of people “encouraging” me to go faster. Just keep
moving. I can’t do this race again. I HAVE to finish today. I can’t leave Sally to do this all alone. Everyone is yelling at me. I’m
truly spent. Wow my legs and lungs are burning.
I start thinking about the finish line area. I remember
the finish at IM Florida where people came in perpendicular to the chute, had
to run past it, do a U turn, and then finish. Where does
that last path go? How far is the
chute? If I don’t finish, it has to be by
more than a few seconds. I’d
seen our finish line, but the route to get to it was still uncertain. I
wanted to finish, but I didn’t know how long it would take to get to the line.
Finally I’m at the turn off and heading to the path to the finish. Thank you I don’t have to loop again. I’m running out of gas. I realize where I am in the parking lot.
There’s a course official telling me to hurry. Ed is looking at his
phone. Alexis is jumping like a crack addict on fire. Ryan
tells me to look ahead, the stoplight is the chute. I can
see the lights but how far away is it? I
can’t run anymore. Ah, walking, that
feels sooo good. All at once
Ed, Ryan, Alexis, Mike and Nicolas scream at me to RUN! YOU HAVE TO RUN
FAST RIGHT NOW. I think I may have given everyone a heart attack. Fine, FINE!
If I run, I think I’ll shut them up.
I’m running again. I make the final left turn into the finish
chute and I see the clock, 16:59:16. How far
do I have to go? Remember to savor the
moment. Listen for your name. Listen for the song. WOW! That
noise is really loud. My ears hurt. How much further? Keep moving.
Robin will be at the end. Where
is she? Oh, there’s Rich about to fall
out of the stands. I’m sure the rest of
the cheer squad is with him. Oh my God
this hurts. There’s Robin! Why is her hair so bright? I think this is the finish line. Put your arms up. What’s your finish line pose? Oh Robin, I’m so glad to see you. Yes, that’s a medal around my neck. CRAP, I can’t breathe. I need to bend over and catch my breath. Shit, I AM AN IRONMAN!
Sally comes out of nowhere and hugs me. I walk through
the crowd to see my friends and family all coming toward me. I head to
the fenceline and everyone is crying. Everyone. All of the IMAZers
were there. Cheer squad is surrounding
me. Mike tells me I made him an
Ironbaby. Ryan and Ed are telling me they were having a heart
attack. I keep looking for my Mom, find
her and hug her. I take the finish line
picture. I realize that I didn’t even
see Mike Reilly in the chute and I missed hearing my name. I go back to the line, find Mike and grab him
in a hug. I told him I’ve waited a long
time to hear him tell me I was an Ironman.
He looked at me in the eyes and said, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN. I turn to head back and Alexis is next to me again! Jeez. What does he want from me now? He hands me my shirt and hat and says
Congratulations. Thank you Alexis. For everything. I look at my too-small shirt, offhandedly say
something about it, and off he goes to get me a new one. He is one persistent little bugger.
POST RACE
I look down at my left shoe fully expecting to see some kind
of bloody mess but there’s nothing.
After I get home I take off my shoes and see there’s a blister UNDER the
toenail. I name it Alexis. My other foot has blood blisters under two
toes. I name them Ed and Ryan. The Coaches, like my blisters, popped up out
of nowhere, were sometimes obnoxious though mostly tolerable, but most
importantly reminded me every step of the way they were there until the very
end. Alexis has since fallen off and Ed
and Ryan are still purple but hanging on.
I’ve looked forward to a pedicure for a year, but still can’t get
one. Either I have two black nails or
one not painted. It’s ok though. Everyday I look down and am reminded of what
I accomplished. And every day, for the
next 3 to 6 months while Alexis grows back in, I won’t forget his support and encouragement
that got me across that finish line.
