Tracey TRIs: Do You Really Want to Know The Answer to That Question? Part 2

If you're interested in how this starts, see Part 1.

Part 2: How This is Affecting Me

I was pissed on Friday, but I had a busy weekend with loads to do and no time to wallow in my own situation.

Saturday: Rumpass Mini Race Report
On Saturday morning at Rumpass, I had people asking me if I was excited for the hike, when is the marathon, are you training, isn’t it exciting? I just faked some generic answers and moved away quickly. I didn’t want to burst into tears again. I couldn’t open that can of worms just yet. Later, waiting for the swim start, I was bobbing around in cold water of Lake Anna with my hiking buddy Sally and friend Janet. Janet looks at both of us and screams, “This is the beginning of your EPIC year!” I almost cried again.

I’m glad I didn’t have time to think about not doing Rumpass. If I had, I would likely have canceled. As I swam through the choppy cold water, my mind drifted to the conversation with the doctor. Maybe I could do marathon swims (in warm water, ‘cause this wetsuit sucks!). Maybe I’ll start doing century bike rides. I could be the best aquabiker ever! Then I started thinking about bailing on the bike in T1. Racing Rumpass was only to prepare myself for IM. Why not just quit? Yeah, that would be much easier. Quit, get warm, hang in the tent.

I think this was about the time I turned buoy two and directly into the head-on wind, chop, and waves. I looked up and saw how far the land was. I couldn’t stop swimming, I just had to settle in and get it done. I couldn’t make it easier, I had to plod along. The shoreline was far, I kept going off course, waves slapping me in the face. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming? Just keep swimming! Hallelujah, hallelujah, angles singing, clouds parting, DUH, I CAN’T JUST QUIT WHEN THINGS GET HARD, I HAVE TO KEEP MOVING.

I got out of the swim, hustled into transition, and…paused. The doubts crept back in again. I held my towel around me and thought for a long time about quitting. I stared at a fellow teammate who probably thought I was nuts. I’d like to say there was some inspirational reason I finally moved, but reality is I looked at my new bike and wanted to ride it. It would be my first race on it and I wanted to see what I could do with it. So I did. I went two loops, pushing harder than ever since I didn’t have to worry about the run.

Sunday: Face of America Ride
My husband was a marshall for a ride to raise funds for and support Wounded Warriors. I went out to see the finish of their 100 mile bike ride from Washington, DC to Gettysburg, PA. There were nearly 400 riders, 80 of which were wounded in some way. Some had brain injuries, some were wearing prosthetic limbs, some had no legs at all. One guy rode by on a tandem bike with a pair of boots and a huge American flag strapped to the back seat. They were set up the way you see on TV when a fellow Soldier dies and his friends put his boots in the sand with his helmet and rifle. That one choked me up big time. I could imagine these two guys making plans to do this ride together when one of them doesn’t make it. His friend goes on anyway and does it in his honor.

Monday: Helping Friends
Monday night I get an email from a friend who needed some help. I won’t go into detail here, but suffice it to say she almost never asks for help and when she does, it must be pretty serious. I head over and do what I can. We talked a lot about her situation and mine. She looked at me and told me exactly what I needed to hear.

Cue the life lessons. Wow Tracey, you couldn’t have scripted a better weekend to put your own situation in perspective.